You think this way I think that
I say no and you say yesI say early and you say late
I wonder why our mind never work straight
You are the fire and I am the wood
You and I we’ve made one out of two
I am the marbles and you are the game
We make other couples look so lame
Let’s think alike and become one ray
Let’s work together until we reach Our Day.
AUG 23 2010 @ 5:53 pm
Very nice! It was a sweet poem! However do u think it would work better if we cut down parts of it? In the start of it, it wants to go one place and then by the time its over it has a whole new personality. For instance, if ur gonna rhyme the words then u gotta rhyme it throughtout the poem. It was good though but incomplete.
ReplyDelete7/10
True, i think i need to ADD more to it. It's too short and fast, that's why the lack of rhymes seem more punctuated. Should do these more in advance, and not at the last day! :P
ReplyDelete